Every Time a College Student Shares Their Truth, It Reinforces My Commitment to Pride
Every time a college student comes – Over the years, I’ve become a guardian of countless personal journeys. Each student who has confided in me has not only deepened my resolve but also reminded me of the strength found in vulnerability. As we approach the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising, these moments take on added significance. Their willingness to open up has been a constant source of inspiration, pushing me to advocate for progress and support those who are still finding their voice.
A Student’s Quiet Moment of Courage
One afternoon, a student remains behind after class, hesitating before sharing their thoughts. At first, they ask a routine question, then pause. Finally, they say, “I think I might be gay.” Moments later, another student approaches, their words quick and uncertain: “I’ve been really distracted. I kind of started seeing someone who’s nonbinary, and I’m trying to figure out what that means about me. I need to talk, but I don’t know who to turn to.”
“I am honored that you told me,” I say. “I’m proud to have earned your trust.”
Despite their growing confidence, these students still carry fear. Whether it’s anxiety about being judged or uncertainty about their identity, they often feel exposed in that instant. For them, coming out is a step into the unknown, and I’m here to offer a safe space.
My Own Journey of Self-Disclosure
As a university professor, I’ve spent over two decades shaping young minds. But my own path to authenticity began in the late 1990s, when I was a student myself. My concerns revolved around understanding my identity, while the world grappled with fears of the Y2K crisis. I knew I was drawn to women, but I lacked the confidence to share that truth.
My Catholic college in the Midwest wasn’t known for its queer community back then. The only support group was discreet, requiring meetings with campus ministry staff to secure a spot. I couldn’t simply search for answers online or find a local LGBTQ+ gathering. So, I chose to reveal my story through a paper, guided by a friend’s recommendation of a novel with a closeted protagonist.
That morning, I read the book in one sitting. By afternoon, I’d decided to use it as the foundation for a communications assignment. I wove in my own experiences, describing the burden of hiding and the effort it took to control what I shared. The paper became a reflection of my internal struggle, even as I earned a D for the work.
My professor criticized the choice, calling the novel “an inappropriate text” and suggesting I didn’t grasp self-disclosure. But I knew better. The act of writing it was itself a form of revelation. Years later, when my daughter came out, I realized how much that paper had shaped my understanding of who I was.
Pride as a Collective Force
Coming out is more than an individual act—it’s a catalyst for connection. Before sharing our truth with the world, we often spend time reflecting, writing, and discussing with those we trust. These conversations evolve with time, location, and cultural trends, yet they always carry the same essence: the courage to embrace authenticity.
For me, being out isn’t about a single moment of bravery. It’s a choice rooted in the exhaustion of constant vigilance. Editing my words and managing my appearance to avoid scrutiny takes energy I’d rather spend on family, community, and my work. That’s why students have always turned to me. Their stories, like mine, are shaped by the same desire to be seen and heard.
Today, more Americans identify as LGBTQ+ than ever before, according to recent polls. This shift reflects a broader cultural movement, one that my students and I are part of. Through their trust, I’ve learned that pride isn’t just a personal celebration—it’s the fuel that keeps us standing together, even in uncertain times.
