You have concerns about your kid’s school. How to handle them

Navigating Your Worries About Your Child’s Education

Qwenews.com – This piece is part of a three-part series aimed at easing families into the new academic year. Earlier this week, Monday’s feature explored strategies for children reluctant to attend classes, while Tuesday’s article examined methods for supporting young ones in building friendships. Now, your student is preparing to return to the classroom, yet you find yourself feeling anxious.

Perhaps you believe your child is spending excessive hours on digital devices during lessons, or they were assigned a teacher different from your expectations. Maybe essential accommodations seem missing. Having personally encountered these scenarios and listened to countless parents, students, and educators nationwide during presentations on managing screen usage, I understand your position. When such feelings arise, what steps should you take?

Seeking Resolution Through the Right Approach

Dr. Melissa Greenberg, who founded the Princeton Psychotherapy Center in New Jersey and works as a clinical psychologist, suggests that your method of addressing issues will significantly influence outcomes. She offers several guidelines for parents.

First, evaluate whether your concern relates to your individual child or represents a broader institutional policy matter. Greenberg recommends engaging in “a little thought and investigation” to clarify this distinction. We often presume educators understand certain protocols or are obligated to follow specific procedures, yet “we may sometimes be wrong about that,” she explains. Becoming frustrated with a teacher for adhering to required practices seems unjust.

If the problem falls under school policy, “you might have to go to a school board meeting,” Greenberg said.

Recently, I waited past 10 p.m. to address the school board regarding excessive screen time in classrooms. Since the board members took no action, I am now campaigning for a board position this November.

Prioritizing Your Concerns

Parents typically carry numerous worries about their children’s educational experience, yet we must determine which issues warrant bringing to administrators’ attention. One framework for decision-making involves distinguishing between preferences and genuine needs, according to Greenberg.

While you might favor a specific instructor, logistical constraints may prevent the school from fulfilling your request. Administrators frequently balance competing demands from multiple families, assigning students based on academic abilities or separating peers who struggle to coexist. Conversely, when your child possesses an unmet requirement—such as disability accommodations or protection from bullying—advocacy becomes essential.

Consider scenarios where your child was injured by another student and the school’s response felt inadequate. Greenberg advises examining whether this represents a recurring pattern and assessing the level of risk. If your child faces potential future harm, intervene promptly. Otherwise, you might acknowledge to your child that the institution mishandled the incident and express regret that the matter lies beyond your influence, then proceed forward. This situation can also serve as a valuable life lesson.

We live in a world where things aren’t always fair, and sometimes people aren’t honest, she said.

Greenberg points to sports as an illustrative example. During the World Cup, viewers witnessed numerous instances where one player firmly believed they had been fouled while another player remained absolutely certain the opposite was true.

“Sometimes things happen very quickly,” she said. “You will only ever experience something from your own perspective, and we all have to keep that in mind.”

Adopting a Collaborative Stance

Should you choose to pursue an issue despite feeling frustrated, Greenberg recommends presenting yourself to the school as a partner rather than an opponent. You share the same objective: helping your child receive quality education. Whether communicating with teachers, principals, or board members—and beginning with the teacher when appropriate—assume that officials possess positive intentions.

“It actually usually is the case that everyone is trying to do their best and that everyone has the interest of the child at heart,” Greenberg said.

Your child’s educators are certainly not adversaries. When approaching conversations as conflicts and attempting to demonstrate someone’s error, “creating tension or escalating tension is not going to help the situation move forward,” Greenberg observed. “That just sets up a dynamic that is less likely to get you what you want and what you need.”

Finally, when your child reports one version of events while the school presents another, “Knowing your kid is helpful,” Greenberg noted. Understanding whether your child tends to be reactive and “does a touch beco” [become defensive] can guide your response.